Meeting without Outbursts

Today, I saw evidence of the impact of the medication. I was about to interrupt my boss during a presentation--one of those moments of urgency that aren't remotely urgent. Hesitantly, he looked towards me, and I paused and said, "It can wait." He continued with his presentation and I wrote down my question in the event I'd forget it. Oddly enough, when the meeting finished, the question no longer felt important enough to ask. 

Moments where I pause have been absent in my life. I am notorious for outbursts and speaking without thinking. I believe it is this specific behavior that cost me at least one job of which I am aware. I know I am in the euphoric phase, the one where I feel fixed and all is right with the world. I know it's possible I will have a letdown after a period of time; I know the medication is only one small part of managing the disorder. But here's the thing, it's working and I can tolerate it. So much of the rest is stuff I've been dealing with for years in therapy, only now I have an additional resource and tool. I can't help feeling that everything is falling into place. 

I had a better day managing my meals. I ate at regular times. Although I didn't eat a lot, I did eat. I had no headache today. Due to the length of my workday, I took the XR and two 10 mg doses. I believe I timed it right and will have no problem sleeping. I also went to the nurse to have a baseline BP done. I know one of the side effects is an increase in BP. Since my father died from a heart attack, I want to keep an eye on it. Today, it was 110/68, can't ask for better than that! 

I feel like I've moved from being a ball in a pinball machine, to an arrow shot by an archer, flying straight with a target in sight.