Remarkable

I calmly went about my business today and accomplished more than I could have imagined. I did so in a methodical and orderly manner. I wasn't frazzled, crazed or hyper. I simply took one box, one drawer, one pile at a time. I worked steadily for about twelve hours. Usually in the course of a weekend, I'll get any number of things done, but it is between solitaire games, skipping through the channels, and napping. Yesterday and today, I made a list of what I wanted to accomplish and crossed things off as I completed them. 

That I completed the tasks isn't what is so remarkable to me, it was how I went about it. My nickname could be "Tangent Girl." It's how I speak, how I work and how I do things. I start something, stop to start something else, come back to the first thing, start a third and fourth and end up with chaos. I might only finish one or two things, leaving myself with many half finished tasks and a mess. Today, I didn't leave one thing until I saw it through. I spent most of the day at my desk going through piles of paper, files and boxes I haven't looked at or opened since I moved in May. 

By day's end, I unpacked seven boxes, sorted, put away and organized drawers. I also have two large Xerox boxes filled with recyclable paper. 

Also remarkable, was my total lack of interest in food. I am a compulsive eater. I eat. It's what I do. I ate my breakfast, a snack for lunch and I'm having an omelet for dinner--or at least I'm thinking I'll make an omelet. I'm not hungry. I have been struggling for the last three years with losing weight. I have been writing about it, going to Weight Watchers, exercising and going up and down the scale. It has been devastating to be aware of how I am unable to consistently take care of myself. I would have weeks of healthful eating, exercise and weight loss, only to be followed by equally destructive weeks. I will be amazed if the medication is able to align my desire to take care of myself with my ability to do it. This weekend it has; I'm cautiously optimistic and hopeful it will continue to do so.