I have watched a complete transformation in my son due to diagnosis of ADHD and medication for same. Due to blood pressure concerns, his doctor did not refill his medication. While he was home he used some of what I had but was unmedicated for most of the holiday.
He went to Vegas for New Year's. Last night, a picture message came through. It was of a tattoo, now on my son's back. It is of the claddagh symbol, it covers most of his entire back. I have never been a fan of tattoos. I have held my breath on any number of occasions when he's come home from a night of revelry saying, "Hey Mom, check this out!" I was actually relieved when he pierced his nipples because as he lifted his shirt I was sure it would be a tattoo. I measured my breath again and remembered that at almost 27, what he does with his flesh is none of my business. It isn't my cup of tea, but he loves it --now--and that is what's important.
What I found interesting was the complete impulsiveness of the act. It brought me back to a time in our relationship when I used to hold my breath--a lot. His impulsive behavior used to grip me with fear. The accidents, trips to the ER, near accidents, stitches, speeding tickets, traffic court, arrests, etc. I learned to always have my phone by my bedside, to not react to the retelling of his escapades. I wish I had known then that we both had ADHD. I think things would have been easier for us with that knowledge. He'd been evaluated as early as 4 and it had been revisited throughout childhood, but never with the comprehensive testing that he went through as an adult. It also didn't interfere with his success academically, therefore the school wasn't as invested in a diagnosis. I know as I reflect back on my childhood all the way to today, I am overwhelmed by the evidence of ADHD and its' imprint on my life. I think the same is true of him, the what if's, if only's. We can't turn back the clock of time any more than he can remove the ink now adorning his back.
I hope when he sobers and the fun of New Year's in Vegas wears off he is still happy with his decision. I hope I can continue to mind my own business and not react. Always the mother, I did inquire about the cleanliness of the shop and the talent of the tattoo artist. I do like the claddagh and if there was anything he would choose it at least is something I don't find objectionable. I look forward to seeing it live and I hope I have the wisdom to continue to keep my mouth shut.
Someone once told me that it's not important whether I like what someone has done or not, it is more important how they feel about it. I heed that advice when it comes to tummy tucks, weight loss surgery, hair cuts and color, face lifts, tattoos, new outfits, changes in decor, etc. It has served me well and I'm sure it will continue to do so. I may not love the idea of tattoos and would choose not to get one myself. I do however love my son and really don't care one way or another about his tattoo. I have found it very interesting though to watch the impulsiveness of our shared disorder play itself out.
